Is This Love?

As young children my sister and I loved to jump into bed with our parents Bloke and Mouldy of a Sunday morning.It was before the war and our first experience of true love.

Later as i grew my interests blossomed to be sexual.But without proper instruction my only advice from my father was "to put it in limp" But he received little instruction,we were a bunch of enthusiastic amateurs .

Even in high school we were not given advice ,only molested by male teachers intent on luring cherub cheeked children to their abode.


At 21 I was still a horny virgin,awaiting direction,which came by way of a British war bride,who spread me out on the family couch and proceeded to deflower me.My expectations must have been high as i uttered " is that all it is "

As a race British females are very friendly.On a trip to the UK I had the good fortune to meet a jovial young lady at my place of employment The Hammersmith Co-Op,who showed me the smallest bar in all England.

At this hotel they served warm beer and cold sausages ,even though I remonstrated with bar staff

they should reverse their fare. Another quaint characteristic of the hotel it had no toilets.

The procedure if you wanted to pee you had to go outside where there were council toilets insert a penny in the slot to gain entry.

As a rugger bugger I had a young girlfriend for several years.when we got on the dance floor we could shimmy and shake to the lively music and get All Shook Up,our friends thought it was time to get engaged.But the unexpected happened I GOT DROPPED .

Now if you have been through this experience its demoralizing,your ego gets dented, your self confidence takes a battering.Some take to the drink to cure the problem.

Some years later Gail married Toby and sent a photo of the ceremony to my mother.

A celibate life is not for one who thrives on female company,so eventually age conquers and thoughts  of settling down bubble to the surface.

But who will be the one,should one trial the participants ? and establish some criteria.

It was a star studded memory of  staying in bed all day with such a participant,not leaving the boudoir for lunch but ordering pizza to be delivered,to energize the hormones for the afternoons fun.

Still the words love had not been uttered from my lips,was I deficient ? or was my upbringing the cause of the problem .

I grew up in a household where we were fed,bathed,clothed and watered,never ill treated,allowed lots of freedom to roam the streets,parks and beaches of my local area.

It took me many years to understand my parents behavior,a touch of disinterest,getting on with there own lives.

Very different to the present situation where helicopter parents hover incessantly near their children,not wishing them to fail.

12 years of married life,slaving to bring home the bacon,provide shelter,supporting the children,remain true never wandering or looking for extra marital affairs.

No wonder it all ended badly "I'm tired of living with a paint pot " No alternative suggestions.

Perhaps if I had been able to proffer the words "I Love You " it could have been different.

Some information acquired from my steward Ettore Serichino a resident of Trieste, on a sea voyage,has remained with me for many many years,to compound various nefarious events gained in non aggressive experiences

Acqua fresca Vino pura Figure stretta  Cats a dura.

But life can deliver unexpected romance and excitement even at 50.           Bless me I aint done yet !

I met a nature loving Kiwi girl working in Sydney,cycling the outer areas of the Blue Mountains,Central and South coast at weekends. We struck up a mutually satisfactory relationship. This was a girl who after cycling for several hours could erect a comfortable camp,with fly up and dinner cooking in a battered billy 1/2 hour after deciding to stop for the day. It was a light hearted friendship,no pressure and fun loving.

We discovered we had mutual interests and wished to introduce stability to the relationship.So bought a section of land in Nelson New Zealand .Over a period we erected a unique three decked timber house using recycled timber,and a landscaped garden with local tree species.

It felt like love when we retired for the night,screeches of excitement were uttered,until a hand would appear over my mouth to muffle my words,so the neighbours would not hear.

Now its all over,I have my memories and my dreams, my grandchildren to play with but will leave it to the movie actors who have been trained to utter "I love You "

(C) copyright Tim Williams